Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
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and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
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So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
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