I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Randomize