I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
Randomize