you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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