my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
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