i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
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