Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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