I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
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