I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
im about as happy as oj after his trial
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
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She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
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I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
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