Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
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