whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
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Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
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You cant use biscuit as a chaser
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
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