My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
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