my mouth tastes like poor choices
I'm at a crab and wine festival with my dad. He just introduced me as his girlfriend to all of his co-workers. I am so drunk I thought he was serious.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
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She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
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