Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize