the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
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