apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
Is it because I queefed?
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
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