you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
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