just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
Banned from zoo.
Again?
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize