moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize