Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
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He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
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He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
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