How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
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