He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
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