ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
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My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
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I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
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