just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
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