i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
Randomize