Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
he was CRYING into my vagina
God, you're like boner-b-gone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
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