we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize