There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
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