He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
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