Texts From Last Night

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  (516): View more from New York

  check it out our google latitudes are spooning

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  (516): check it out our google latitudes are spooning http://tfl.nu/t63m
  Replies (5) Good night (877) Bad night (422) Order T-Shirt
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  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra

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  (717): im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra http://tfl.nu/5ubo
  Replies (25) Good night (850) Bad night (3634) Order T-Shirt
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  (402): View more from Nebraska

  Chicken burrito, or no deal.

  (1-402): View more from Nebraska

  Is that code for my vagina?

  (402): View more from Nebraska

  Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito

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  (402): Chicken burrito, or no deal. (1-402): Is that code for my vagina? (402): Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito http://tfl.nu/ldfv
  Replies (30) Good night (4124) Bad night (891)
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  (973): View more from New Jersey

  I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes

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  (973): I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes http://tfl.nu/9abn
  Replies (11) Good night (3557) Bad night (617) Order T-Shirt
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  (407): View more from Florida

  Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?

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  (407): Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume? http://tfl.nu/7evx
  Replies (10) Good night (2843) Bad night (621) Order T-Shirt
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.

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  (303): She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before. http://tfl.nu/yrqt
  Replies (82) Good night (9200) Bad night (1111) Order T-Shirt
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  (810): View more from Michigan

  Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.

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  (810): Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life. http://tfl.nu/9d1q
  Replies (25) Good night (1724) Bad night (5392) Order T-Shirt
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  (541): View more from Oregon

  She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it

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  (541): She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it http://tfl.nu/9pgr
  Replies (3) Good night (1870) Bad night (952) Order T-Shirt
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  (914): View more from New York

  No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?

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  (914): No mixer. Vodka in yogurt? http://tfl.nu/c5w2
  Replies (15) Good night (1107) Bad night (2330) Order T-Shirt
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  (904): View more from Florida

  I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.

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  (904): I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff. http://tfl.nu/e8i1
  Replies (13) Good night (2478) Bad night (884) Order T-Shirt
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  (802): View more from Vermont

  think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....

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  (802): think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight.... http://tfl.nu/1kod
  Replies (9) Good night (834) Bad night (1327) Order T-Shirt
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  (479): View more from Arkansas

  I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.

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  (479): I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him. http://tfl.nu/81m9
  Replies (9) Good night (1431) Bad night (447) Order T-Shirt
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  (702): View more from Nevada

  Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year

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  (702): Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year http://tfl.nu/tm45
  Replies (10) Good night (1314) Bad night (288)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"

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  (303): I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?" http://tfl.nu/z8zt
  Replies (2) Good night (1273) Bad night (221) Order T-Shirt
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  (650): View more from California

  Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you

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  (650): Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you http://tfl.nu/x9ov
  Replies (2) Good night (687) Bad night (146) Order T-Shirt

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