quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Randomize