thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
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