he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
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