Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
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