i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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