:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
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