so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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