Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
You pole danced in your parka.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
Randomize