If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
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