You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
I accidentally had phone sex last night
I just made out with a guy for $7.
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
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