it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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