after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
Randomize