Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
Randomize