xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize