toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
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