She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize