the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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