my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
Drake has all the answers
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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