So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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