Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
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Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
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I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
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