And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
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I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
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Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
Randomize