I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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